What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Why do you allow your cat to lie in bed with you?

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

What's your review of "The Queen Who Ever Was," Episode 8 of Season 2 of 'House of the Dragon' (spoilers)?

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

What is something you have to share?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

What happened to everybody's thick skin? It used to be that people really didn't get offended, now however, everybody gets offended by the least little thing.

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

TEXT:

What would you do if you were lost at sea in the Florida Keys?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do Republicans realize that the power of the people is invested in 'representative government'? If so, why did they elect a pathological liar?

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Make Nazis afraid again!

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Why is the First Amendment referred to as a right to free speech instead of an immunity from punishment for one's words, regardless of their truthfulness?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

What are the bitter truths of life one should know?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What exactly is female squirting? Is it only urine or a combination of liquids?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

How can you tell if someone or someone's is trying to recruit or at least test you for a secret organization?

Shameless vixen! Trollop!